Now you’ve lost me, Dr. Renée. My husband makes me feel sad every day when he insults my weight, or my wife makes me angry when she emasculates me in front of her dad and brothers. My mom makes me feel like a total loser when she asks when I’ going to give her some grandkids, she knows my boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet after 5 years of dating!
I agree, those things are totally rude, but the feeling is yours and yours alone. You don’t have to accept this or own it, but in my experience, any time I believed anyone was “making” me feel something, it was just triggering something I was already thinking or believing. If someone made a comment about my weight or asked why I was still single at 45 or insinuated I was unlovable or not good enough…
Ding ding ding, they hit my trigger.
If they had called me a 7-foot-tall purple dinosaur, I wouldn’t have take offense, I’d just think they were crazy. Any strong emotional response is generally reverberating at the same frequency of something we are holding deep within.
We all have our triggers. If someone says you’re stupid, a jerk, cheap, a loser, useless, a know-it-all, a brown noser, or a coward and it hurts or upsets you, chances are it’s a match to something you are saying to yourself, or it’s a match to something some critical person in your past said to you.
Getting curious about your own triggers, being curious about what tends to set you off is the first step in healing. Question whether it is true or if it’s just a story you keep telling yourself.
When you coach with me, you will come to better understand what triggers you, why you get triggered, what it means to you, where you picked it up and you’ll learn how to heal and release your triggers so that you have a better relationship with your emotions. You’ll start to be able to remain centered and not react, even if someone pushes buttons that once set you off. You will make a shift to a new reality where you’ll feel more empowered and in control rather that giving up your power to anyone who comes along and decides to push your buttons. Life will seem so much less chaotic.
It’s a process, it takes effort of course, but trust me it’s worth it!
If you want to learn more about remaining in control of your emotions, please book a free Discovery Call with me.