So many of my clients tell me that they have a hard time winding down at the end of the day. Even when they try to rest their mind is constantly active. This can pose a real problem during sex.
People share with me that during sex they catch themselves thinking about not so sexy things like chores, upcoming work events, kids, pets, finances, you name it. They find that their monkey mind interferes with their sexual enjoyment or they feel like they miss out on the experience.
Here are a few things I share with my clients to help them stay present:
1. Connect to your breath just as you would while meditating.
2. Bring in as many of your 5 senses as you can into the sexual experience with music, scented oils or candles, nice fabrics, sexy foods, leave lights on or get a dim night light if you are self conscious.
3. Make some noise. It doesn’t have to be particularly sexy noise. You can sing, talk, even let out a big sigh. This returns your brain to the present moment.
4. Do a body scan and notice everywhere your body is touching the surface beneath you.
5. Do a pre sex ritual to help your mind transition into sex like taking a bath, putting lotion on your feet or dancing.
These are just a few hacks to keep you in the moment so you can better enjoy sex. Don’t worry if your mind wanders off, it happens to the best of us. Simply notice and return to presence as often as you need to.
Like most things, it will get easier with practice.